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Good day kinksters subs/slaves and all

My website banner in top right hand corner states NO TEXT MESSAGES REPLIED TO! and yet I still receive text messages.

The main reason I won’t engage a conversation through text is that it may not be an actual adult on the other end.

It is important that an introduction email and a brief phone call to find out what somebody is like in order to progress to a session.  A lot can be said for a friendly polite conversation, I can tell if I want to session with someone that they sound nice and the potential client if they like the sound of the Mistress.  It’s a two way exchange.

Mainly TW’s send text messages, looking for some form of wank fodder and any engagement will have one of their hands busy the other end.

Prime examples of silly texts are:

“Is that Mistress Helen”  well the number is on the site so simply call Me

“Can I call” Simply call until you reach Me

“I’m in a meeting and can’t talk, can we set up a session” Well ring when you are NOT in a meeting, surely you should be paying attention to THAT meeting!

“I can’t read or write” Yet you can send a text, hmmmmmmmmm that’s rather suspicious & surely you would not understand a reply.

“want book tomo” “wan strapon now” and anything else inane gets immediately blocked.

“How far are you from Dorking” Use Google maps or AA route planner and put your location in and destination as advertised on my site if you have bothered to read it of course.

There are many more examples I could give but I really have better things to do with My time, so over and out and hope some of the gorgeous lovely fun playmates clients that I do see found this blog amusing.  The others I know your game!

Best regards

Mistress Helen X

Ten facts about Me

I love smelling gorgeous so have a perfume collection going on, currently it’s Tom Ford I love Velvet Orchid and Black Orchid, Tabacco Vanille and Positano.  I would love to try some others which are listed on My tribute page for gift suggestions.  This must be the Aromatherapist in Me!

I have no ACL in my right leg, I ripped through it doing Artemi Rye Ju-Jitsu a few years ago, I hold a purple belt in another form of Ju-Jitsu.  I’ve had my Meniscus trimmed back as that was also a mess but have left the ACL as it’s not guaranteed surgery and I don’t want to take the time off.  I don’t limp but can’t wear high heels for much more than an hour or two.

I used to play scenario paintball a few years ago but no longer play, the last *gun I fired was out in Arizona with my fab cousin and her ex hubby who taught firearms in the military.  The bike gang all come out into the dessert onto some private land and gave this “nice English lady” lots of ammo and many guns to shoot up targets.  *In paintball they are called markers.

I love Animals and have tried being vegetarian over the years, the smell of sizzling bacon beckons though and I had a rather scrumptious juicy steak out with one of my slaves only recently.

I love dressing up and always had a dressing up box as a child or raid my mums wardrobe of beautiful party dress’s. I invest a lot of thought and energy into my sessions that I hate receiving emails with the likes of: I’ve seen dress A in your gallery and want you to wear that with thigh length boots, red lipstick, matching nail polish, hair styled in X, wearing a feather boa and blah blah blah.  Please buy a Cindy doll to dress up!  A grown woman can dress herself and may consider your polite fetish requests.

I’ve undertaken charity and voluntary work over the years for reasons that were close to my heart and helped fulfil a gap at the time.  I’ve only recently given one of them up due to not having the time to spare, this lady needs to get her butt back in the gym on a regular basis.

I’ve not really been into alcohol very much in my younger years and it was only about 5 years ago I was at a private BDSM party and a lady was drinking some infused Gin, which I tried and have developed a taste for it along with Champagne.

My family know that I am a Pro Domme, some of them are interested by it and others would rather talk about the weather.

I know how to tattoo and have an interest in various forms of art, when I have spare time I like to draw; ink pen and watercolors are my favorite medium.  Botanical art is the main area that interests me and I have done some adult art classes.  I’m not so experienced at tattooing that I would/could give up my day job or even want to.   I love being a “Professional Mistress” I really love the art by “Kukula” and have come close to having a tattoo in that style.

I can bake a mean cake and don’t need to follow a set recipe as I can remember exactly what’s required and can tell by looking at a mixture before popping it in the oven.  I once spent two days baking for one of the charities I volunteered for and they went down a treat.  “Domestic Goddess”

Arizona

Paintball

Pink Frosting Butterfly cake

Kracken Rum M&M’s cupcakes

Tattoo on latex

Tattoo on skin! haha

Doing a tattoo a bout 10 yrs ago in friends studio

The Player & The Instrument by Kukula

Inside my knee

Ink pen

Needle art ribbon corset

Needle art patten

Botanical ink & pencil